4 Things I Learned To Quietly Build My Network as an Introvert

4 Things I Learned To Quietly Build My Network as an Introvert

Let's create a scenario.

You just clicked on the 500th developer job application as you say to yourself...

“This is it. If it doesn’t go through I’m done and moving on to something else.”

You then go on your favorite online teacher’s discord and what do you see?

Self-doubt starts to kick in as you start thinking it's an uphill battle.

Then you go and watch the 15th video on Javascript promises and you think to yourself when will all this change?

I don’t want to bring you down but development skills alone don't make you a developer. It's more than that. It would help if you also met other people with a similar interest. Here are some ways you can do this.

How you can meet other people with a similar interest

  1. Join networking sites like Eventbrite or Meetup and search for “Software Developer”, “Coding”, or the language you use.

  2. Find an event near you to go to or if there isn’t find a remote one. Or if you’re feeling brave you create one yourself.

  3. When you go to the meet. Greet people with a smile and introduce yourself.

  4. Be willing to share a bit about yourself. Ask questions that build interest in them so they become interested in you.

Now I'm not going to leave you hanging...

If having longer than a “Hi and bye” conversation makes your heart beat faster than a drum like mine does at the thought of introducing yourself. Keep reading. I'm going to give you my spin on a framework I came across a while back.

Use this method I read about when you meet with someone new so you don’t have to think about what to say next. I call it OFRD, (pronounced "off-road") to put your focus on them and not yourself.

OFRD Framework

Here it is broken down:


  • What’s an exciting part of their job?

  • Find out if you can help. (It doesn’t have to be tech-related). You might know someone or something that could help them as well.

  • Don't spend too long on this topic. Go to the next one.


  • Talking about family helps you connect with people.

  • Use stories about your family to ask others about theirs.

  • Remember not to ask too many personal questions.

  • Keep it positive.


  • Ask what they like to do when not working.

  • Share your hobbies to start the conversation.

  • Be interested in their hobbies.


  • Ask about their goals and dreams.

  • Good for leading into deeper talks.

  • Use it to see how you can help them. Remember doesn’t have to be tech-related.

Remember. Stay humble. And most importantly, LISTEN.

Networking isn’t easy. It feels forced most times. But strategies like OFRD help you connect so you can grow personally and in your career. It's helped me connect to more people I've met and has opened the door to learning about other perspectives where you realize we're all not so different.

You never know what the result of just saying "Hi" to someone could be.

You forge relationships for more than just a means to an end.

I hope this helps. And speaking of relationships don't hesitate to comment or share.

Also, follow me on Twitter/X.

Until then.